From Judgement to Value: An Individual Journey

If there was one trait emerging leaders could choose to walk in the door with, it would be confidence. What leader wouldn’t want to be happier, build better relationships, earn the trust of their team and laugh more? Peter Stark, President of Peter Barron Stark Companies goes as far as claiming “…self-confidence is a more important asset than skill, knowledge, or even experience” in his 2014 LinkedIn article. So what stands in the way of confidence? Pictures. The pictures created by perceived expectations of how we “should” behave in order to be successful. These pictures are focused on us and our perceived competence. Perhaps we imagine what others may be thinking about us. Do they believe we can pull this off? This may lead to a picture in which we need to walk in with all the answers, brimming with competence. In these pictures, we have become our own judge and jury and fear is leading the way. All these misalignments, these ways we don’t fit the perceived picture, serve to become the boogeymen that erode our self confidence. Worse yet, the plan of action developed is to become that which we are not.

So what’s going on in our brain and its impact on how we show up is important. Rather than walking in with perceived pictures, a more productive mindset is grounded in humility. My favorite definition of humility is, “ a clear recognition of what and who we really are, followed by a sincere attempt to become what we could be.” In leadership, humility involves an outward focus on teams and company objectives. Research has provided quantitive data on the impact a humble leader has on team performance. Humble leaders have a clear self awareness of their strengths and most importantly, how to utilize them. They are also aware of their shortcomings, but are not afraid of them. In other words, rather than judging they are valuing ALL they bring to the table. How does a leader, especially one new to a position, make this shift from judgement to value?

Think how a business gets a clear picture of what they are working with. They do an objective inventory. Leaders can use this same idea to identify their “stock in trade”, behavior tendencies and motivations. Entering into this process with an objective attitude is essential because the truth is, we all have varied traits and preferences that can serve as assets or liabilities. With all of “us” on the shelf, it’s time to identify our perceived enemies. Where are we self judging traits? What pictures have we created? Fears of how they are perceived by others or ways in which we think they limit our capability? It’s time to create a new relationship with those traits and change the perceptions between our ears.

No longer burning up energy with unproductive pictures, focus can move towards understanding why we are the way we are. What do our behavior preferences do for us? For instance, a leader may discover operating at a steady, more relaxed pace is preferable to him/her because it allows time to make sure work is done accurately. How do our motivations reflect our values? This brings understanding to how we prioritize our time and effort. When we are utilizing our strengths, what does that do to our energy and sense of purpose? As we begin to understand why we do the things that we do, respect for what those traits and preferences bring, begins to materialize.

By this time, those perceived enemies are looking a little bit more friendly. Now it’s time to move to appreciation. Reflecting back on the path that brought us to where we are, where have our traits and motivations served us and others well? What patterns have we seen on performance reviews? This is a good point to elicit some feedback. By creating this tactical score card, we can see the merit we bring. At this stage, if we are indeed expanding our humility, we will also recognize circumstances and situations in which our personal styles have not served us well. This is equally important for developing that sincere attempt to become what we could be through growth or drawing on the strengths of others.

At this stage, a new picture begins to emerge. Not a self serving image based on “should’s” and fear, but one grounded in outward focus, curiosity and possibility. In seeing the value our behaviors, skills, and motivations bring, we have the opportunity to leverage them. We are also aware when it will be necessary for us to adapt for success. The powerful benefit of having and utilizing various strengths and styles on the team will guide how we show up. In this way, that’s what we walk in the door with, not a false mask of what we think we “should” look like but a confidence in presenting our genuine selves. To sum up, we have walked through the following stages of the journey:

JUDGING—UNDERSTANDING—RESPECTING—APPRECIATING—VALUING*

If you are interested in discovering what’s on your personal shelf in terms of your behavior style and motivations, please contact me. Utilizing the Talent Insights report we will be able to unpack your approach to problems and challenges, how you influence others to your point of view, your reaction to the pace and consistency of your environment and how you respond to procedures and constraints. Examining what motivates you will also provide insight to your personal journey. I look forward to talking with you.

*Based on DiSC® Classic, ©2011 John Wiley & Sons, Inc. “DiSC” and “Wiley” are registered trademarks of John Wiley & Sons, Inc.